The Dark side of the moon

 

This is what I am currently listening to  :) I went outside to smoke a bowl and left to door open so it wouldn't squeak since I wanted to pack another and then my dad came out :o i was like uhh i was going outside to give my neighbor a tampon lmfao he didn't buy it but accepted it and went to bed. He's not retarded he knows I went to smoke.
So.. I started to tell my ex my feelings for him. We began to discuss them for a bit but he hasn't text me back.. I don't know what to think right now. Probably because I am on Xanax.
I never liked Xanax but its literally keeping me from feeling Shit. Why hasn't he replied, hes online... and i said something really important.  My mentality is on fuck it mode cus of the bar.
It's a coincidence i ate it too. I didn't like it because it makes me  sleepy. But that is why i took it today cus i took like a 5 hour nap -____-
Let me just rant for a bit:
FUCK YOU JAVI.
you have time to get online but not reply to what i said that took no courage but effort because the moment felt right to tell you and that rarely happens. I guess you just are more twisted that i thought i can handle. But it is what it is. I hope when i sober up i'm still me.
I hate questioning my existence.

But i shouldn't let one person allow them to break me down mentally. There is so many other fishes in the sea.
I hate that im so complicated.
&this is when i hug Erick and feel okay.