A Week ago

Sometimes I feel the better I get at transitioning, the better I get transitioning in life. For some odd reason I feel this connects to life in a certain way, atleast to me. The more watery I feel inside, watery enough for people to see im made out of water, the better I am at handling life. I can make anything connect.

I'm still dope even if the bag ain't Coach
Even if I don't smoke till the hydro roach
I'm still dope, rock a thrift store coat
And a fresh pair of moccasins
Comfortable for walkin' in

Find your balance

I've seen better days

        The Love a mother has her for their child is unconditional :>

They are love lmao

I may be small compared to the universe but it still doesn't stop me from letting the world know what I have to say :P

 

 

 

I cant wait

Till ely tries REAL Lsd. shes gonna be like woaahhh... lmao That is all.

40 0z to freedom

Today I bought redbloodhotsugarchillisexpeppersmagik and something for ely too :)
I found it odd that I don't own a sublime cd. Its me...like wtf lol So I bought my favorite one
40 OZ TO FREEDOM! I think its hilarious they credit the guy who took the bong rips in "smoke two joints" his name is Chris Hauser hahahaha

I bought it at the exchange cus reckless record had NO sublime cd's. They we're all sold out.
I didn't mind, its understandable. Its sublime DUH....nah jk I didn't care cus I knew next door would have a shit ton of them lmao

My total was 7.65
I had 7.25
I suggested to pay with debit since I didn't have exact currency. The guy ringing me up said it was cool cus he liked my hat. IM SO FORTUNATE FOR MY ASH KETCHUM HAT I LOVE IT.
He said it was a pokemon discount lmfao

Matthew  complemented me on how I look good with hats, I agree.
This summer my heads gonna be happy.
I don't like my hats forward or backwards. I cant help but either put it to the left or right.
My mom hates it lmao. She thinks ima get shot. sorry mumzy, but if I get shot. It was for a good cause.

lmao.

I JUST FEEL SO HAPPY & GIGGLY.
Im so happy I didn't buy weed this week. I need to save up. I actually did this week from my paycheck :)

I don't even mind I work 420. Everyday is 420 to me lol

Yesterday

I bombed with Edwin. Yesterday the word of the was feedback.
It felt really nice doing aerosols and busting tags and all. The streets were dead, everything was our playground. So dead that we were walking on opposite streets doing our thing.
He said:
"Did you know that you are the only girl that I know that spits a lot? Not that I find it repulsive, but I thought i'd let you know."

"I noticed I can only only be energetic with a handful amount of people. You are one of them. Like im just like talk talk talk talk"

I also mentioned that silences with him are comfortable. He agreed.

I'm not sure why but I get the vibe from him that he lacks of something. Like he needs a epiphany. I want to give him a different approach on life. Monk panda is up to something.

Laurynas is someone who's silences aren't comfortable yet. On my part they are but on his part they aren't. I sometimes wonder what he thinks of me. Because he pointed out that I looked down when I wasn't. Does he associate silence with sadness? I don't think silence means sadness. It means that someone is caught in a trance in their own mind. Sometimes I feel like I have thoughts that I can't word right.
I've been feeling really strange lately. I really need to get back into school.

I really do wonder what Laurynas thinks of me though. Because we talked about the people we hang out with. He taught me how to properly ask for LSD and what questions to ask to reassure myself what is it. The way he explained things made me feel like i'm not so cautious when I should be.
When we were playing nintento I felt like a fucking mutant cus I didn't know what to do lmao. He was really tweaked out that I wasn't a gamer. I suck at video games. There was a point were I can feel his frustration on how I couldn't get it. I just really suck at them I kept saying lmao

Shortly after he had a talk with me about how ravers that roll their brains out. The tone of voice he said it in was more like in concern. I was thinking to myself, "Does he think i'm one of them" because of the people he knew I associated myself with" I didn't tell him my thoughts though. I wasn't one of those people though.
I kinda just listened and agreed. Lately I been thinking about my past. And its funny that this is pointed out to me. He doesn't believe everything happens for a reason. I do, but my beliefs sometimes change on it.
He believes its because of the energy and vibrations you send out to the universe. Slowly the universe picks it up. I believe he came across my path for a reason. I can tell he is a genuine person maybe we can feed off of each other. We are the same but very different as well. More different than
same.

I find it trippy the way we met lol. I find it funny that he thinks I look like his ex girlfriend. He kept repeating that when I met him haha

What I find really weird that I got delayed and all sorts of shit on my way to his house. I was off my time schedule. He has no phone so we agreed to walk down the same street and eventually see each other by a certain intersection. Right when I hopped off the bus I crossed to the other side as he was walking towards me. I don't think he expected to find me right there and then so when I walked to him he's like success right on time lol. When I make plans with someone im always there before them or them before me. It wasn't like that this time. I hope he becomes a good friend of mine. I admire his approach on life, he is a positive influence.

Lately javi has been tweaking me out. Im not sure if its in his personality or its just me. But he doesn't make effort to see or talk to me anymore.(3days lmfao making it seem eternal) I just feel a change in the air lately. Also a change in my mind set.
I noticed that he doesn't ever wanna just chill. Its always because we are doing some activity.
Like never...that bothers me. Why can't he casually ask me to go sit at a park or for a walk. Ive mention to him numerous times im all about the company not much what we do. It's like he hasn't caught on. I always have to ask and shittt,
If he asks its because we are gonna smoke or do some shit. What if he thinks he NEEDS to entertain me?

Sometimes he says were gonna do something but then goes out and does it with without me. For instance today. Last night he said we would smoke with tony. Today came he is like oh ima smoke blah blah. I didn't mention what he said yesterday cus I figured if he wanted to chill he would ask. He didn't. he has done this before too.
I told him I was tired of making plans with people and them not pulling through. Some people suck lol for instance himself. I told him that some people only chill if its convenient for them. I explained how I like company I don't care so much what we do.

His response:
Yeah I know a lot of people like that and I do that myself sometimes lol

My response:
Well you're not gonna get too far with your convenient mindset.

He never responded.
I wish he was different. Its that mental universe ill never be a part of.

Sometimes I wish he wasn't such a fucking pussy and tell me off or atleast feedback. I sometimes wonder if I intimidate him.
I often feel like I intimidate people. I wish someone would just tell me the fuck off once in a while. I'd admire them more. I think that's what made love me Erick. He wasn't scared to give me his opinions on the things I said. That's when things got weird because we stopped disagreeing on things and started to agree more on things. Weird...

For ely

I couldn't really explain to you why I love them so much. As I kept explaining why your mind always seemed to drift away somewhere else(not complaining I think its funny lol) But the thoughts you were having are thoughts I wanted you to conserve and record. I didn't wanna take that away from you :) because I can explain to you anyday why I love them. My love for them wasn't going anywhere.
Bradley is the Singer. Bud is the drummer and eric is the bass player. (I hate the name eric)
AND YOU CANT FORGET LOU DOG!!!!

 

I can tell they were VERY fond of each other. It most of been hard for the Lou when Bradley died. 5 years later he followed him to heaven. But when he overdosed in his hotel room lou ran towards his dead body. I wonder how he felt, I wonder if they are together today. Lou was a rescue dog. He use to have abusive owners before Bradley adopted him. I'm sure he gave him the love he always desired and deserved. I bet Lou is cooler than tons of people I know I mean look at him, he loves that beanie lmao

 

Reasons I'm in love with Bradley

 

Real musicians don't give a fuck about their appearance. They put their all into their music. Look at that big ol beer belly lmao. HE GIVES NO FUCKS. I love how there is kegs in the background

 

 This face reminds me of the song date rape lmao

"Light skin, light blue eyes, a double-chin and a plastic smile"

 

Young Bradley. I wonder if his son looks anything like him. I cant find pictures of him except these.

He played since he was 12.

He cared about his son so much. He died of a heroin overdose. He knew he was going to lose the war soon. It always makes me wonder how heroin always wins. The only reason why I never pulled through on suicide was because of the immense love for my mother, it would destroy her.

Which reminds me I have to write my suicide letter.

His face lol. straight passion. Whenever I'm tripping I always almost feel as his voice caresses me. It awakens my soul and adds a little color. I can always FEEL the passion of his voice. I often catch myself thinking of pictures or performances that capture the moment like this one. I just picture his mouth moving. He ALWAYS closes his eyes.

 

My baby had too much fun lol

 

:)

 

Behind the music:

 

 

Slow ride-

This reminds me when I was at my lowest when I had my first real heartbreak. Someone fell out of love with me as I was falling harder and harder. I can feel how he felt how much I loved him and how he knew he had the pants now. How he knew every little thing I did was out of love.. Bastard.

 

"She takes her time when it's time to get ready. Always has her way,Always leaves me waiting by the phone"

"And I feel a little lucky so I try to play it cool. I think she laughs inside With the words that burn like fire in my mouth"

"Ask me why I play myself ,Play myself for a fool. Swear that I would do most anything, hey huh!
Walk a mile to see her smile, Walk a mile just to rock for a while And babe, I'm thinkin' with my ding-a-ling"

"But sitting on the verge of tears Does not become my 22 years. You took my shame and you took my pride and now you're gonna take me for a slow ride"

Scarlet begonias-

When I think of this song I think of The grateful dead version. I love this song because it has more of a house feeling than ska.(what if that os-kaa dude was cool lmao) This song also reminds me of my best friend. Its almost as if he is talking about her.

"She had rings on her fingers and bells on her shoes And I knew without asking she was into the blues " She loves the sax

Also we said we'd try every drug in the song lol.

"A tie-tie-dyed dress , she was a psychedelic mess
We toured to the north, south, east and west
We sold some mushroom tea,
We sold some ecstasy,
We sold nitrous, opium, acid, heroin and PCP"

I've only done 3.She has done 5.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: If you think im a kook for wanting to try them, idc lol. I won't go into depth about my thoughts and beliefs." Curiosity kills the cat" The dumb cat atleast lol

40 Oz to Freedom

It reminds me of that binge I went on. I went on a one week binge off alcohol because I was so depressed. Everytime I drank is as if my problems weren't so big or even mattered. Once I sobered up it would all hit me again so i'd try my hardest to drunk . It was a really really weird time in my life to look back at because of how consumed I was in someone that drove me to hurt myself. I never drank 40 0z cus I hate beer. Id get drunk off anything except beer lol. Although this song is about 40 oz(the cheapest fix ever) I always settled with liquor as my friends had 40s. We would still end up in the same place...drunk. I totally feel him.

"But life is one big question when your starin at the clock.And the answers always waiting at the liquor store, 40 oz to Freedom,
So I'll take that walk. "

 

"40 oz to freedom is the only chance I have to feel good,  Even though I feel bad. "

 

Bad Fish-

This song hits home for me<3 It reminds of the same thing as 40 oz to freedom.

When I heard these songs I felt less alone at the time.

 

"When you grab a hold of me 
Tell me that I'll never be set free 
But I'm a parasite creep and crawl I step into the night. 
Two pints of booze 
Tell me are you a badfish too? Are you a badfish too? "

 

"Ain't got no money to spend I know the night will never end
 Lord knows I'm weak
Won't somebody get me off of this reef? "

 

"I swim but wish I never learned. The water's too polluted with germs"

 

I was drowning.

 

What I got-

My interpretation of this song is weed lol. When I first started to smoke I use I really began to see the beauty of things. It taught me to relax and accept things. Like waking up in the morning and being like *sigh* I have to go to work. -takes bong rip- Okay lets suck todays dick!!

"That'swhy I don't cry when my dog runs away,I don't get angry at the bills I have to pay

I don't get angry when my Mom smokes pot.  Hits the bottle and goes right to the rock
fuckin' and fightin', it's all the same. Livin' with Louie dog's the only way to stay sane
Let the lovin', let the lovin' come back to me. "

 

                                                                     Right back-
                           One of my favorite songs. I feel like he puts so much soul into his song. I envision him singing with his eyes closed and head tilted up. One time I tripped and really felt one with this song. I feel he puts so much soul into it because he was trying to get his point across that he was upset. He must be really upset if he feels like he is back in the pen. I don't think jails fun lol He was slowly losing to his addiction.
" Sometimes right now since I've left the pen
I feel like I'm right back there again. Sometimes I pray, waiting waiting for some bright holiday
So I bought myself a gun and I'm right back right back where I'm from."\

"Don't tease me, don't tease me, don't tease me"

                                                        Smoke two joints-
            I love how they remake songs with their own twist. Like scarlet begonias, used one of krs ones beats (also made a song about krs-one) and this one. Its pretty self explanatory. It just reminds me of getting blazed hardcore in my room lmao. Ihad no glass what so ever (long long ago) so I used a water bottle bong. Omg I was uneducated, that's terrible for you.
                
"I smoke two joints in the morning
I smoke two joints at night,
I smoke two joints in the afternoon
and it makes me feel alright
smoke two joints in time of peace
into the time of war
smoke two joints before i smoke two joints and then i smoke two more"
                                                   
                                                                       Performances:

 

Watching this was a perfect way to kick off a trip I had.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE PEFORMANCE. BALL AND CHAIN & DATE RAPE!!!!

54 46 whats my number? :)) I love how lou dog is just walking around the stage. He is part of the band. Trap dog lol

I saw red ft gwen Stefani aka my woman crush lol

Beautiful collaboration.

Gwen: Gosh Bradley you look so cute.

Bradley: I'm prosperous

Gwen: yum yum

 

 

Soon to be mine :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Laurynas

"If I was into street arts, i'd just right OMMMMMM everywhere. That's all I have to say"

yuppp

           Friendship Compatibility For Sagittarius And Cancer

Sagittarius

Cancer

A friendship between a Cancer and a Sagittarius is one that requires time to overcome their initial difficulties. Cancer and Sagittarius need to allow each other time and space to comprehend and appreciate each other. Sagittarius love action and adventure, and don’t mind taking chances to enjoy new things in life. Cancer hold stability and security at a very high value. Cancer’s strong sense of loyalty might ask for a devotion to friendship that Sagittarius wouldn’t be willing to provide, at least initially. However, as their friendship progresses, Sagittarius would appreciate the value of emotional strength that Cancer provide, and eventually commit themselves to a strong bond between them.

Cancer and Sagittarius take a completely different approach to things in general. Cancer are conservative and emotional, while Sagittarius are active and zealous. Cancer might be surprised by the hyperactive nature of Sagittarius, and Sagittarius might not understand the mood swings of Cancer. Cancer could provide solid support and a healthy environment for Sagittarius to work on their goals. Sagittarius could teach Cancer to be more affirmative, and bring variety and fun into the lives of Cancer.
Cancer is ruled by the Moon, and Sagittarius is ruled by the planet Jupiter. The Moon symbolises motherly passion, love, and care. Jupiter symbolises development, luck, positivity, and travel. Jupiter has an abundance of masculine energy, and the Moon has intense feminine energy.(He thinks im such a girl lol) The beautiful combination of masculine and feminine energy accounts for the admiration Cancer and Sagittarius have for each other, and the balance they bring to their relationship. If they work together towards their shared ambitions, they almost always achieve the desired results.

Cancer is a water sign, and Sagittarius is a fire sign. The crab looks for emotional steadiness and safety, and the archer wants freedom of expression and action. The archer perseveres in its efforts and schemes tirelessly; the crab strives for the happiness of feelings and sentiments. The friends might not fully comprehend each other’s attitude and decisions, but they would still be fascinated by each other’s approach to life. They balance each other well, and either partner could gain from the experiences of the other. As long as they maintain a deep, powerful friendship, they settle their arguments easily.

Cancer is a cardinal sign, and Sagittarius is a mutable sign. Cancer love to start new things, while Sagittarius love to shift their attention from one thing to another. Cancer must give Sagittarius their independence, and could make use of Sagittarius’ ideas and interests. Sagittarius could teach Cancer that versatility could be a good thing.

The most striking aspect of the relationship between a Cancer and a Sagittarius is the safety and support they provide for each other. Once they understand each other’s attitudes and accept each other’s differences, they could form a dynamic combination. They only need to converse with each other and settle their disagreements to preserve an intense, enduring friendship.

Wobbles

“There is almost a sensual longing for communion with others who have a large vision. The immense fulfillment of the friendship between those engaged in furthering the evolution of consciousness has a quality impossible to describe.”
- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Maui waui

I found a finger show I did about a year ago, and my flow is NOTHING like this today haha im rocking kandi lol