Yesterday

I bombed with Edwin. Yesterday the word of the was feedback.
It felt really nice doing aerosols and busting tags and all. The streets were dead, everything was our playground. So dead that we were walking on opposite streets doing our thing.
He said:
"Did you know that you are the only girl that I know that spits a lot? Not that I find it repulsive, but I thought i'd let you know."

"I noticed I can only only be energetic with a handful amount of people. You are one of them. Like im just like talk talk talk talk"

I also mentioned that silences with him are comfortable. He agreed.

I'm not sure why but I get the vibe from him that he lacks of something. Like he needs a epiphany. I want to give him a different approach on life. Monk panda is up to something.

Laurynas is someone who's silences aren't comfortable yet. On my part they are but on his part they aren't. I sometimes wonder what he thinks of me. Because he pointed out that I looked down when I wasn't. Does he associate silence with sadness? I don't think silence means sadness. It means that someone is caught in a trance in their own mind. Sometimes I feel like I have thoughts that I can't word right.
I've been feeling really strange lately. I really need to get back into school.

I really do wonder what Laurynas thinks of me though. Because we talked about the people we hang out with. He taught me how to properly ask for LSD and what questions to ask to reassure myself what is it. The way he explained things made me feel like i'm not so cautious when I should be.
When we were playing nintento I felt like a fucking mutant cus I didn't know what to do lmao. He was really tweaked out that I wasn't a gamer. I suck at video games. There was a point were I can feel his frustration on how I couldn't get it. I just really suck at them I kept saying lmao

Shortly after he had a talk with me about how ravers that roll their brains out. The tone of voice he said it in was more like in concern. I was thinking to myself, "Does he think i'm one of them" because of the people he knew I associated myself with" I didn't tell him my thoughts though. I wasn't one of those people though.
I kinda just listened and agreed. Lately I been thinking about my past. And its funny that this is pointed out to me. He doesn't believe everything happens for a reason. I do, but my beliefs sometimes change on it.
He believes its because of the energy and vibrations you send out to the universe. Slowly the universe picks it up. I believe he came across my path for a reason. I can tell he is a genuine person maybe we can feed off of each other. We are the same but very different as well. More different than
same.

I find it trippy the way we met lol. I find it funny that he thinks I look like his ex girlfriend. He kept repeating that when I met him haha

What I find really weird that I got delayed and all sorts of shit on my way to his house. I was off my time schedule. He has no phone so we agreed to walk down the same street and eventually see each other by a certain intersection. Right when I hopped off the bus I crossed to the other side as he was walking towards me. I don't think he expected to find me right there and then so when I walked to him he's like success right on time lol. When I make plans with someone im always there before them or them before me. It wasn't like that this time. I hope he becomes a good friend of mine. I admire his approach on life, he is a positive influence.

Lately javi has been tweaking me out. Im not sure if its in his personality or its just me. But he doesn't make effort to see or talk to me anymore.(3days lmfao making it seem eternal) I just feel a change in the air lately. Also a change in my mind set.
I noticed that he doesn't ever wanna just chill. Its always because we are doing some activity.
Like never...that bothers me. Why can't he casually ask me to go sit at a park or for a walk. Ive mention to him numerous times im all about the company not much what we do. It's like he hasn't caught on. I always have to ask and shittt,
If he asks its because we are gonna smoke or do some shit. What if he thinks he NEEDS to entertain me?

Sometimes he says were gonna do something but then goes out and does it with without me. For instance today. Last night he said we would smoke with tony. Today came he is like oh ima smoke blah blah. I didn't mention what he said yesterday cus I figured if he wanted to chill he would ask. He didn't. he has done this before too.
I told him I was tired of making plans with people and them not pulling through. Some people suck lol for instance himself. I told him that some people only chill if its convenient for them. I explained how I like company I don't care so much what we do.

His response:
Yeah I know a lot of people like that and I do that myself sometimes lol

My response:
Well you're not gonna get too far with your convenient mindset.

He never responded.
I wish he was different. Its that mental universe ill never be a part of.

Sometimes I wish he wasn't such a fucking pussy and tell me off or atleast feedback. I sometimes wonder if I intimidate him.
I often feel like I intimidate people. I wish someone would just tell me the fuck off once in a while. I'd admire them more. I think that's what made love me Erick. He wasn't scared to give me his opinions on the things I said. That's when things got weird because we stopped disagreeing on things and started to agree more on things. Weird...